Click on this link

This is the Bill Cowher appearance improvement page. Drag your pointer anywhere on his face. OMG it's hysterical. http://www.personal.psu.edu/faculty/a/d/ads102/warp.html

Cowher Cowtowed

I've had the hots for former Steelers Coach Bill Cowher since I ran past him at the Thanksgiving Day game in 1998. He was a sexy, gritty football guy. A bunch of us were in the United Way half-time show at the Silverdome and when I caught sight of Cowher, I might have growled. During the next 8 or so seasons, catching a glimpse of him was a Sunday hightlight! I was thrilled when he took his team to the Super Bowl and won, right here in Detroit. I wished I had been there.

That was then, this is now...

What the hell happened to him? Was it the hat? The anger on the field? Did he lighten his hair? NO - he got his teeth hollywooded. Hope you like em billy-boy, changed your image totally! You even talk funny now, like your lips don't fit over the teeth. I won't want to hear your color commentary, it might sound pretty instead of gritty.

Now who will I watch on Sundays, the Lions?

My Sofa on a Saturday Night

ROYAL sofas require regal behavior. Not true in this castle. My sofa has been slept on, wept on, jumped on, **ed on, and last and least of all, sat on. It is 11 feet long and can hold two tall people laying end to end and five very large people playing Wii.

At the far end is prince Dan, next to him is princess-to-be Laura, friend Christina, future groomsman Mike and poopy prince Mike - also best man. At their feet is King Vince, ruling the royal roost. When they left at 11 pm to hit the bar, their litter included beer bottles, controllers, sticky glasses half filled with blue gatorade and rum (blech!), chip crumbs and bottle caps. Think I'm mad? I'm sad. Prince Dan and Laura moved 800 miles away yesterday. This is different than going away to college. They will be back for Christmas (I hope) and next summer for their wedding. But, I think the sofa full of kids days are largely over. I haven't sat in there since Saturday.

UP NORTH

The Queen spent the weekend in Harrison. Some would call it God's country, I say, thank you God for electricity and indoor plumbing. Royal friend Sharon has a cabin down a secluded dirt road. Two nearby houses are inhabited by year-round residents. Most are vacation and hunting cabins that families bought decades ago before air-conditioning. Some still have feeders to lure the white tails and turkeys.

Several species of wildlife were spotted during our three day weekend, including mosquitos. One must have been caught in the queen's shorts because there were four clustered bites at the top of her thigh! After that, not much time was spent outside at night. Also because the royal friend told a story the first night about a bear that had recently visited a neighbor's porch tearing up plants and a hummingbird feeder.

Sharon and I have been friends since 1972, as college freshman roommates. After 35 years we can still talk for hours and have found new things to share. A couple of years ago she got me hooked on scrapbooking! At least one day of our time together is spent shopping at Arnie's, a huge craft store at Houghten Lake. Then we sit and drink and talk and scrap. I completed 8 pages to her 32. She's on a deadline, I'm only doing it for fun.

This year Sharon added a new highlight to the UP NORTH experience. She transformed the little shed behind the cabin into a TIKI HUT! It's the cutest thing! This is her daughter Jenah and boyfriend Scott inside, and Sharon and I outside. We played island music, mostly Jimmy Buffet and drank margaritas and our take on the bay breeze with blueberry vodka! She serves only imported Hawaiian coffee, and always has Bailey's and Kaluha on hand to make the mornings extra special!

7-7-7

July 7, 2007 was the biggest wedding day of the year! Las Vegas chapels expected to marry a couple every few minutes. I was invited to Tricia and Matt's wedding that day. They are a cute couple: Shrek and Pooh. Tricia is my best friend Sandy's niece and I've known her since she was born. I first met Matt through the newspaper when he was a senior in high school. He's a year older than Prince Danny and played O-line in Brandon. The article said his dad made him push a truck uphill for strength training. He's 6-6 and about 300 lbs, played for Michigan and was drafted by the Giants last year. The ceremony was lovely. Dancing at the reception included the Greek circles and the hustle -- and everyone participated -- giant football players and Sandy's 75 year old mom dancing right next to each other! That's why I love weddings.

Adios to the Autos

Adios Autos

We came to Michigan from points east and west
From poverty and oppression
And brought pierogi and pasties and parkas
We came to Michigan where we worshipped without fear.
As perdition became independence.

We came to Michigan from Mississippi
From Memphis and Montgomery
And brought macaroni and Methodists and mittens
We came to Michigan where we were needed for work
As agrarian became industrialization.

When we came to Michigan we lived well
We met and married and bought housesAnd worked and worried and had benefits and babies
We spanked them and spoiled them and spent money on college
As our boomers beget generation next.

When we came to Michigan we were well
And found that contented comes with compensated
Because we were well fed and well clothed and well sheltered
And that was why we came to Michigan in the first place
As pay and perks become pensions.

We are not needed in Michigan now
We have overstayed our welcome
Because we eat sushi with chili dogs
And celebrate Christmas and Kwanza and Chanukah with equal glee
As suburbans and silverados become sonatas and passats

We will move away from Michigan now
And wonder where our children’s children will work
Because they live in blended, bi-hyphened, step-cycled families
And text and type and take-out and multi-task
As we lived in Michigan we were well.

Dog Days of Summer?

Her Royal Highness, The Queen of Royal Cove, had an HHH day. Hazy, Hot, and Humid. Low visibility with temperature and humidity above 85. Cleverly called the "humiture." In the queen's pursuit to practice positive thinking she will extol the virtues of an HHH day:

1. Everyone's hair looks equally bad -- straight or curly -- nothing holds.

2. It's a good day to get dog hair off the car seats -- no static to keep it stuck there.

3. Indoors is better than outdoors -- because air conditioning is lovely.
Adding to the sensual pleasures of the day is the steamy aroma of tar as the queen's royal road was resurfaced yesterday. If this were a scratch and sniff blog the smell would send you to another site. As the day wore on, the temp dropped, the barometer rose, as did the clouds and now the windows are open.

As soon as it gets dark (about 10 pm in this far western region of the eastern daylight savings time zone) the fireworks will begin. The royal province of Ontario is just across the river and international independence day lasts two weeks long. The Royal Hound hates the sound of the fourth of July! He quivers -- all 99 pounds of him -- and hovers and won't go outside. Prince pup Vince will pant and pin his hairy self to her highness for the next three hours.