Mary Dinkel

Mary Dinkel, 54, of Ada, died peacefully at home on December 12, 2008. In later life, Mary was a walking miracle, outliving her doctors' prognosis by more than seven years through tenacity, research and intuition. She learned a lot about herself and life's priorities during her illness, especially the value of honoring her spiritual intuition to guide her life and treatment. She enjoyed many personal and professional accomplishments and died with few regrets. Mary's personal life-spark lit up many individual lives as well as any room she entered. She met her beloved husband and closest friend, Mark Johnson, at a concert when she was in her late 30s. She described Mark as a fabulous father to their twin children, Lauren and Will, whom she loved from the moment she was pregnant and who were the lights of her life. She had a deep appreciation of motherhood and felt blessed to enjoy thirteen years with her children. Some of her happiest days were spent watching Lauren and Will playing with their dogs, and she hereby reminds Mark to spend half an hour walking Champ every day.

Mary was smart, independent, irreverent, loving, funny and caring. Her gifts were displayed in varied careers as a journalist, lawyer and artist. She grew up in Grand Rapids, the oldest of 10 children, attending St. Thomas School where she wrote and produced plays, an early indication of her literary talents. She later was Arts and Entertainment editor of the Western Michigan University student newspaper. Her writings included essays, short fiction and poetry. After graduating from WMU, she won an Associated Press award for feature articles while on the Decatur, Illinois Herald and Review staff. She hit a glass ceiling early in journalism and transferred her writing and analytical skills to the legal profession. After graduating from the St. Louis University School of Law, she returned to Grand Rapids and was in private practice for 25 years. Her legal practice was varied and she ultimately "hung out her shingle" as a sole practitioner. She always tried to help her clients see the light at the end of the tunnel, and describes her fellow lawyers as good people doing their best to help their clients. She was active in bar activities at the local and state levels such as the Grand Rapids Bar Association and Women Lawyers Association of Michigan, West Michigan Region. She was a card carrying member of the ACLU. When breast cancer forced her to retire from a growing and successful legal practice, she was able to explore more fully her artistic side; her paintings are a source of beauty to her family and friends. She was a voracious reader and contemplative writer, who perceived the spiritual essence in life and the many people she met. Mary was preceded in death by her father, Lawrence Dinkel and her baby sister, Betsy. Mary is survived by her husband, Mark Johnson, and their children, Lauren and William Johnson. Other family survivors include her mother, Elizabeth Dinkel, and siblings, Lawrence (Ruth Ann), Cathy (Bruce) Newell, Paul, Joe (Deb), Chris (Kim), John (Robin), Stephanie and Jennifer (Tim) Brom; her mother-in-law, Thelma Johnson of Glenarm, Maryland; many nieces and nephews and extended family members. Mary asks her family and friends to remember that love is everywhere, to celebrate her life and help her children recall her personal essence. "A child is born, the old must die. A time for joy, a time to cry. So take it as it passes by and let it be a dance." Visitation will be Monday, December 15 from 2 to 4 and 6 to 8 p.m. at the O'Brien-Eggebeen-Gerst Chapel, 3980 Cascade Rd. SE. Family and friends will pray the Rosary at 6:30 p.m. followed by a short memorial remembrance service. Mass of Christian Burial will be held at St. Robert of Newminster Church, 6477 Ada Drive, Ada, on Tuesday, December 16 at 11:00 a.m., Rev. R. Louis Stasker, presiding. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to the William and Lauren Johnson College Fund through Putnam Investments, 1430 Monroe Ave. NW, Grand Rapids, 49503, (616) 458-8990, attention John Parras. She loved daisies. O'Brien Eggebeen Gerst

Spent a day and a half saying goodbye to the bravest woman I know. For the past 8 years, my college roommate Mary has been outsmarting cancer. We met for lunch in Lansing after the holidays in 2000. A couple of weeks later I called to ask her where she got the boots she had worn to lunch. The breast cancer diagnosis had been delivered that day. There were many other times when I called on the day she needed me. I expect she'll speak to me some way when the battle is over. In late fall of 2001 I accompanied her to New Orleans. The reconstruction surgeon, she found the best one in the country, tatooed nipples for her after all signs of cancer were gone. We shopped and savored the city. One evening found us following a Dixieland band into our hotel lobby where a bride and groom ended their reception with one last dance. It was delightful. Mary saw a psychic who told her to leave her job and be more creative. She closed her law practice, went to writer's retreats and took painting classes. Today she wanted me to take the outfit she bought during that trip.
After the New Orleans trip, we began our Labor Day weekends together at Gun Lake. Most every year we spent the summer days at her cottage, with her two young children running around us while we talked and laughed, read books and remembered our 20s. I had my children at 27 and 30. Mary was 42 when she had the twins. I married at 22, divorced at 32; we were 38 when Mary and Mark were married. Mary was a bridesmaid in my wedding.
In the fall of 2002, just when I was feeling empty-nested, the cancer had spread to her liver and bones. She found a treatment in Germany and I went along for the first week. It was my first trip to Europe. She had backpaced around four or five countries as a college sophomore. Mary was feeling good enough to have dinner out most of the week. We had Chinese food, Italian food, everything but German food. Daytimes she had infusions and tests. I read a lot of books, met a lot of people from various European countries who all spoke English, who all had cancer. Mary returned to the BadAibling clinic a number of times to receive the treatment that isn't approved in the states. Her liver was cancer free after a year.

For the past five years we've stayed in touch more than we have since we left college. She was here for my 50th surprise birthday party; and I went with her to Chicago for a new doctor and treatment. I didn't go to Gun Lake this Labor Day because it was the week after the wedding. Mark and Mary were at the wedding with the kids. She had said it for many years: "cancer free by Christmas." I was sure she was right. She attacked the monster with strategy, finding the best doctors and treatments; with lifestyle, changing most food to organic; and with karma, by being creative, and utilizing every spiritual tool available.
A few weeks ago her energy was fading, and she found out her liver was filled with the monster. When I left today they were going to celebrate Christmas early.
I have always called her "my Mary." I'm certain we'll stay connected.

Holiday Shopping

Visited the dollar store last night to pick up gift bags and little add-ons for the presents I'm wrapping. One birthday and the first Christmas party this week. At the check out, along with the gum and eyeglass repair kits, hung home pregnancy tests. Talk about your impulse buys. I don't think I've ever seen condoms at the dollar store, have you? Are dollar stores owned by pro-lifers?

I'm imaging the checkout conversations. "No Billy, you can't have any more candy, pick something without sugar, how about this home pregnancy test." Or maybe, "Oh honey look, a home pregnancy test, I've been meaning to grab one of those." "Get a couple, they're only a buck."

Crafty Women

Sat with BFF Sandy on Saturday at her mom's women's club expo. Sandy is selling her crafts under the business name: Eye Candy By Sandy. Gotta love it. She is crocheting scarves and making purses out of placemats. Rain kept the crowds away but we enjoyed the day anyway. I brought a few crafting supplies of my own and made some Thanksgiving cards.

My baby is the same age I was when I had him

27 years ago yesterday, I had my first child and I was 27.

I left home at 17 and never returned, but always knew my family was there if I needed them.

He left home at 15 to live with his dad, and I thought he would never return. His dad died five years ago and that brought him back to my home for the last four. At 27, I had been married five years and would only be married for another five, though I already knew it wouldn't last - we weren't a good match. My boy has had a casual girlfriend for the last three years, but he says they aren't a perfect match. He's had a couple of other serious girlfriends - and still talks to them on occassion. He's nowhere near ready to be married. I was eager to get back to work after having my baby - I had a great career started at AAF in DC with lots of travel and exciting events. My baby eagerly awaited the release of a new video game last night. He rarely leaves his room and has two computers set up to play the games. Sometimes the sound of the shooting shakes the walls of the house. His unemployment was extended - he's been out of work since January.

Now my dad is gone and I don't really have that feeling of safety anymore. I have to take care of my mom and I don't really want to be taking care of a kid. Time for my 27 year old to be a grown up.

Homecoming

Lindsay and her boyfriend only posed for a few minutes with us. Then they were on their way to dinner, ice cream, dance, afterparty. Here's my favorite shot.

Staying Home

This is the first weekend since Dad's gone that I haven't spent at Mom's. She was supposed to come to visit us but instead will only come for a couple of hours Saturday to see niece Lindsay in her homecoming glam. We love taking those girlie pictures after suffering through all the boys and their black tuxes. And our Lindsay is a stunner so it will be fun.


So Friday I went with my Sandys to a little expo with makeup and massages and jewelry and purses. I had to buy this one. It just called to me!

Then on to Fintini's for a pop. My second Sandy went nuts over the band's cover of Jethro Tull's Locomotive Breath. Now, I remember the chorus from the days of my youth.... "you know it won't slow down..." But I'll be damned if I knew it was about trains. Isn't it?

Two months ago my plans were to be in Texas today for a four day weekend and sister Karen's 50th birthday. Couldn't do it with all the time I was off for the funeral and mom's affairs. Let's hope her family treated her like a queen!

Feeling Blue

Why is that just when you think you're really rolling, have everything under control - SLAM - you're stopped in your tracks and - SLAP - it hits you right in the face that everything is in chaos. The house is a mess; work is screwed up; nothing to wear to the early morning meeting because clothes are in a pile waiting to go to the cleaners instead of hanging neat in the closet waiting to be worn.

Bad hair and a giant pimple always seem to show up at the same time. If you wear glasses too, well, you know what they say about glasses and passes.

Last week during the dad crisis, I was a rock. Today, I'm a wreck. It's cold and rainy too. So -- I'm going to eat Cocoa Puffs in hot milk wearing bright green sweat pants, big socks, turn on the gas fireplace and watch crap TV. I have ice cream if that's not enough chocolate. Pray for my blood sugar.

Missing my Daddy

Who takes pictures at a funeral? My family. Last Sunday night at 11:30 pm my mom called to tell me my dad had collapsed and the EMTs were with her at their condo. He had played golf all day, enjoyed dinner with friends, entertained the group with his napkin tricks, home at 9:30 and gone in an hour. He was only 79 but had a great wild of a life. http://www.gramerfuneralhome.com/html/obits/obituaries.asp?listing_id=115932

We spent Monday making arrangements, Tuesday greeting more than 700 people at the visitation; and held the service and wake on Wednesday. Here's what my sister Nancy wrote to the family on Friday:

The funeral was wonderful. My sister Jan, Leroy Hocking, Larry Ode, Mike Tow, Ken Muxlow, and Uncle Robert, all made us laugh and cry with the stories they shared about our dad.

I'm still crying writing this because I loved my dad so much.

There were around 210 people at his funeral and 55 cars in the funeral procession. A motorcycle escort of friends and Shriners followed the hearse. We beeped our horns as we passed URP.

I took pictures at the cemetary because it will be so hard to picture in our minds years from now, and I want to remember. I want to remember everything about my dad. Well, almost everything!!

The pictures you see with mom standing behind the casket are with the grandchildren, every one of whom was hit hard by their papa leaving.

Those of you who knew Jim and his goofy jokes will understand that at his wake we had to do napkin tricks, balance spoons on our noses, and the really talented ones could balance spoons on their noses and put creamers in their eyes both at the same time!

If any of you have any digital pictures of our dad you'd like to email to the rest of us, we'd love to have them. Please forward these on to those people who would like to see them.

Thank you all so much for your love for my dad.
Nancy

http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=81sacaq.cdf6op5u&x=0&h=1&y=-tk2l8w&localeid=en_US

Live From New York

They did not disappoint! Amy Poehler and Tina Fey as Clinton and Palin hit it spot on. Oddly, I'm more proud of the comics than I am of the women running for national office.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/34465/saturday-night-live-palin--hillary-open

Confessions of an MOG - the retrospective

Here's the dress I wore to the wedding. I think it looked pretty good and I liked my hair too. My family is all behind me: dad, mom, Karen, Tony, Ryan and Kevin. The high school was a great place for the wedding. The staff did a nice job setting up the chairs so everyone could see. We covered the risers in white paper, and the windows behind them in white muslim. The arch turned out pretty well too.

Voter-Constituent

Suddenly, I'm interested in this election. I didn't care until now. Probably there wasn't anything funny enough. Yesterday the mayor of our metro city finally resigned after months of arrogance and denial of corruption. He admitted guilt, and boldly swore he'd make a come-back. He'll be doing his 120 days in November, so he can't run this year. Maybe next year.

At the same time I saw t-shirts touting the super-powers of Baracktimus Prime; my kids played with Transformers. I also remember the tagline for those toys: "more than meets the eye!" So what's he hiding?

And then of course, there's the GOP VP, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin. She looks exactly like Tina Fey. I keep expecting something hysterical to come out of her mouth. Turns out, I'm not disappointed - she's a hoot! Baby Mama is her tagline.

MOG Reflections

It's over, and it was a slam bang, awesome, rocking wedding. We had so much fun! I think everyone did. Every detail worked perfectly. Prince Dan married Princess Laura at the high school where they first met. The officiant was a friend of a friend. There were 14 attendants and the marching band. Rev. Jacque announced them man and wife and asked for "the drum roll please..." and then came the drum line and the cadence, and they kissed and left the stage with everyone following behind. The entire band was waiting outside playing music from The Blues Brothers, where a trolley picked them up and took them around for more pictures.

At the reception we did every line dance and I danced with my son to Lynyrd Skynyrd's Simple Man with a trio of Dan's rock band pals serenading us. Cakes decorated every table and ampersands perched on top. Dan did most of the work transforming the hall into a reflection of the delightful people they are.

My biggest surprise of the night, and second most prideful moment was Prince Mike's toast to his brother and new wife. See for yourself...http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=580853208568

CONFESSIONS OF AN MOG

OH MAN -- THREE DAYS!!
I am keeping up with all my projects, but the house is a disaster area. Prince Dan says the groomsmen may be staying here Thursday night through Sunday, and we're having all the families over for brunch (leftovers) on Sunday. I've washed some sheets and pillows, and lots of towels. There's sofa space and mattresses in the basement where they can crash. I'm loading up on cold cuts and bread, need to get more snacks and beer because my boys keep eating everything that's here.

The kids showed up this afternoon with a big box. I thought it was a wedding gift to add to the store that's in the basement. It wasn't. They got me the scrapbookers dream machine! I am so excited to get it going, but I have to learn how to use it. That would take way too much time that I don't have right now, so I'll concentrate on mastering the art of the cricut once they've left. Maybe it will keep me from being sad. My other MOG and MOB friends tell me it's like post-partum all over again. I guess I'm looking forward to scrapbooking the wedding!

MOG Confessions: The Countdown

12 Days To Go!

Wedding number 4 starred Brent, former teammate of Prince Mike from peewee football to
AAU basketball and Prince Dan for high school football, and his beautiful bride Erin. We've known this family the longest, and I teared up the most at this wedding!We danced and drank like we were kids, and went back to our hotel and passed around a bottle of Boone's Farm provided by the Groom's aunt and my stylist until about 2 in the morning. I took just a snippet of the MOG dance and had to wipe my eyes during it.

Here's all the girlfriends in our finest:

Confessions of an MOG

Got fake fingernails put on today, now I can't type! Wedding number 4 is tomorrow so I thought I would get the nails now and just refresh before our big day.

Don't know if I can do two weeks.

I think we have all the big things done now. Turned in the final count to the caterer. Here's a lesson -- if you have a minimum dollars or people, you better invite 30 percent above. We invited 310 and will have 220.

I've found myself distracted very easily lately, maybe from overload. I was looking for guest books on the Hallmark site, when it occured to me the similarities. So I spent a couple of hours creating the Queen's new logo.

Confessions of an MOG Episode Six

Invitations are out, halleluia. The little packages became increasingly complicated as the bride and groom insisted on adding embellishments including:

• not one but two ribbons around the reception, response, driving directions cards and return envelope.
  
• a trinket tied to the ribbon; some were ampersands, but there weren't enough so they turned to small hearts - same as were used on the shower invitations.


• a wax seal in blue of an ampersand closing the inner envelope. Here's a picture of my son with the seal.

Luckily there was nothing fancy added to the outside envelope because as they were, they were nearly a dollar to mail.

They are lovely, and the kids are thrilled. As the responses come in they are alternately worried there will be too many people and they'll owe more money; or worried they won't meet their minimum of 225 people.

Here's the final product! And the bride printing the envelopes. Wedding planning is not for the faint of heart.

Scrapbooking

eOn my list of links to the left, I've added the blog for my favorite scrap shop. The girls who own it and run it are so cute and I want to help them in their quest for small business success. My scrappin pal Coco and I are weekly croppers.

I've been making a book for my friend Sandy's birthday. Here's a couple of pages I did the other night at the scrapbox.

Confessions of an MOG: The Shower Edition

We did it! The shower is over and everyone was fed and photographed. My sister and friends Sandy and Sandy were over the top taking charge and getting stuff done. So were niece Lindsay and Stacy, girlfriend of Sandy's son. Danny and Mike were bartender and barrista, and friend RJ hung out and helped out while his wife attended the shower. The bride and groom have lots of great gifts to somehow get back to CT.

Many Bailey's lattes were served - with whipped cream and chocolate powder. Bloody Mary's were favored by the senior set. Vodka and most juices were served. We made a Bellini punch and most of that was gone. I didn't have any pop, and probably should have.

Quiche and crepes were catered, Nancy made fruit salad; Sandy made pasta salad and we cut up two whole boneless hams. There's still SO MUCH food leftover. Mostly the little pastries - donuts, muffins, banana bread; and then the desserts - cupcakes, and mini cheesecakes, tarts of all flavors! Finally - the chocolate - in the coffee mugs, sprinkled on the tables, in the prize bags! Laura had made chocolate coffee spoons that we also used for place card holders.

The best part of the day was bringing together people we love - and sometimes don't see as often as we should. My auntie and my mom ... both wore pink! (Good thing I have big boys so I can look smaller because these two are tiny little things).

Of course, I wish I'd had more time to chat with everyone, and thank them for coming. But I did a lot of hugging.

Here's a link to Sandy's pictures: http://picasaweb.google.com/sacook51/LauraDanSShower

Confessions of an MOG: Episode 3

Wedding number three this past weekend. Danny and Laura were invited too. We had fun, danced a lot! The bride and groom were high school sweethearts, and so cute together. The reception was at a country club, windows along the whole west wall so we could see the sunset.

The flowers were fabulous colors. The florist had a few issues delivering exactly what the bride ordered, but they added more gerbera daisies in more colors to make up for it. Each daisy had a jewel stuck in the center.

My friend Johnette, the MOG, seemed to enjoy herself. That's the key, so much work, and it is over so fast.

I think you probably need to PLAN to make sure you have fun. Half hour of visiting, half hour of dancing. Fit it all in and try to remember each moment.

Confessions of an MOG; Episode 2

Today is Tuesday and I haven't been in my office since last Thursday! The power is out at the college where I work, so we've had "snow days." This has given me extra time to get things ready for the shower. We put polka dotted ribbon on these little pots of tulips with a hot glue gun. That stuff can burn!

Eleven days away, and I see I have lots of gaps to fill. For instance, we will have 8 tables, but I only bought six of the little pots. So I'll have to get back to that store for more, and just hope they still have them.

Better planning, rather than whimsical buying, would have prevented extra trips and time. In an attempt to be better organized, I am now making lists; and there are about five in my purse right now. I was looking for what to do next, when I decided that Laura and I needed to get pedicures! Much more fun!

Confessions of an MOG, Episode 1

Two weeks to the shower. It's not even at my house, but I feel compelled to make repairs and get things cleaned up. Had the leak in the kitchen ceiling fixed and the whole kitchen painted last week. Decided to go with a new color. Laura described it as "leather." Seems right. Now I want to replace light fixtures, faucet, chairs, and repaint all the doors. These will have to wait. Wedding first.

Wedding Gowns

The mothers of the bride and groom displayed their wedding gowns at the last shower I attended. We won't be able to do that. Both sets of parents are divorced. Both Laura's parents are remarried. I wore my gown for Halloween as Bride of Frankenstein. I think I played that one well.

Their gowns were very typical of the 70s look! We all wore long sleeves, high necklines, lots of lace and ruffles, very virginal. Most gowns I've seen today are strapless and show lots of cleavage. Not much lace, but pretty details just the same. Jenny and Chad's wedding was last weekend and her gown was fabulous with little crystals all through it. The bridesmaids were strapless too. Not me!

Wedding Showers Shared with Good Friends

I have the coolest friends. Here's one response to the shower invitation. Her son's wedding is the week before.

For the bride’s shower
You chose the perfect date
Our wedding will be over -
Still lots to celebrate.
We will dress in our finest
When we come for the fun

Good food and friends
To celebrate your son.
This is my reply –
Couldn’t you guess?
I’ll see you at noon,
The answer is ‘yes’
.
(P.S.
I just have to tell you,
sure you already know,
The invites were groovy,
And so tres beau!)

Finally Spring

Spring comes late to Michigan. When I've traveled south for work in March or April, people are wearing pastels and linen. March and April in Michigan means wool and winter coats. Finally it's May and the light colors and fabrics are finely on parade. The snowbirds who winter in Florida migrate back to their summer homes (including my parents). The grass is green and trees are in bloom. My eyes are red and watery and there's always a kleenex at my nose.















These beautiful blossoms make me miserable! I dread their seasonal show. It seems there are no drugs that can mask the symptoms, I've tried them all. When I was first pregnant with Prince Mike, we lived in Washington DC where the Cherry Blossoms are celebrated. I had to stay in the house with air conditioning running since antihistimines are harmful to the unborn. Non-sufferers can't imagine the feeling of nose prickles and the constant manufacture of mucus.







Ah Spring. Ah Choo.

Queenly Crafting

Inspired by my cousin's Scrub Oak blog, and all the beautiful things she creates, I'm going to try to take pictures of my projects. So here are the shower invitations I made. Every frickin polka dot was done by hand. I even got a blister!

Here's the poem that appears inside:

Laura will be an August bride
Her family has announced with pride.
Let’s honor her with a special brunch
We’ll have lattes and crepes and
champagne punch.
To celebrate her marriage to Daniel J. Hubbard
And shower her with gifts for their
newlywed cupboard.

It’s all set for Saturday
the Twenty-first of June
The time to be there is right at noon.
Vista Lakes Clubhouse is where you’ll arrive
West off of Shelby, just south of Twenty-five.

We hope you can join us, so please let us know
By email or phone, reply yes or no.

I think my favorite part is the circle address label.

Princess Laura

Princess Laura has selected her china pattern. It is absolutely fabulous! I knew I liked this girl!! Can't wait to see what else she puts on her registry! Not only is she smart -- getting a PhD; not only does she have great taste -- choosing my son. But she's beautiful too!

Wedding Season

Wedding season has begun! The first of the bachelorette parties and showers took place in the last couple of weeks. I'll be invited a total of five weddings between May and August. One I won't be able to attend because it's in Delaware and I need to save the money for Prince Dan's. It's the wedding of beautiful bride Lori, daugther in law to be of my friend Amy. Lori just finished med school and will start her residency in Philly just after the wedding. Amy's son Mike will move there and Amy will be very empty nested. Her daughter Kate moved to Nashville and will be married there next year.

My friend Correen had a shower for her daugher Jenny last night. Jenny and younger daughter Stephanie are gorgeous girls. Jen is marrying a Beverly Hills Cop, BH MI that is. Correen has four sisters and their names are Cathleen, Colleen, Maureen, and Noreen. They were all there, and we had a grand time playing bride bingo.

Stephanie (on the right side of the bride) graduated from high school with Prince Dan and her best friend Jenna Z. went all through school from kindergarten with him. Jenna is also in med school. I'm so proud of these girls! Big fashion item of the night: giant gold hoop earring. I think the queen needs a pair!

Leaving Las Vegas

Spent last week in Las Vegas. YAWN. I always thought if I ever got married again I would do it with an Elvis impersonater wearing a leopard jumpsuit. Not gonna happen. Couldn't possibly wear a jumpsuit, I didn't find any of the all-night wedding chapels or Elvis impersonators, not to mention the lack of a groom. It wasn't my kind of place. Gambling's not fun to me. I thought I'd love the lights and the hotel decor -- I did, it's just all so far apart. Those hotels are freaking HUGE! My feet ached every day, and I never got through it all. Check out the pictures http://picasaweb.google.com/home. I actually took more pictures of the lion than anything else.

Little Motown, Lotta Blues

Watching the grammys last week I heard a couple of amazing songs performed by this crazy looking girl. She appeared to be a screaming punk rocker, but she sounded like janis joplin. I'm haunted by her music now, bought her CD at meijer and keep playing the video on youtube. Apparently she has substance abuse issues; which is a shame. Wonder why this happens to talented people? Also read she writes most of the music and lyrics. There's a little motown beat, her voice is pure blues, and lots of horns! I told my drummer boy he should learn her songs. Take a listen to Amy Winehouse.

My Role Model

I finally had a chance to meet my hero, the queen who started it all, Jill Conner Browne, THE Sweet Potato Queen. And don't you know she's in town the ONE day I'm busy - on a MONDAY for heaven's sake. Jill was in Birmingham at Borders and I drove over there after class. It was nearly 10 at night, blowing snow and freezing cold. But the Big Ass Bus was still in the parking lot. I parked my car so the lights shined on the bus, propped my camera on the roof of the car, set the time and ran over for the first picture. Inside the store the clerks told me to knock on the door, that she was probably inside. Sure enough. I knocked on the door of the Big Ass Bus and out comes the cutest boy in the world saying "Well there you are, we've been waiting for you." Jill's husband has been well-schooled in how to make a wind-blown tired middle aged woman feel all warm and welcome. He gave me a HUGE hug before I even got up the steps! Inside Jill was making sandwiches, and asked me if I wanted one. Of course I said no, but just wanted a couple of pictures when she was done. Kyle took the pictures and Jill gave me a pair of her signature sunglasses. Now, here I am ON THE SWEET POTATO QUEEN WEBSITE! It just doesn't get any better than this.

Welcome New Year - And A Look Back

It is the first day of 2008. Ten years ago in my early forties, I couldn't imagine being over 50, or being single this long. I would never have guessed that my ex would have died. Ten years ago Mikey went to live with his dad in MD. I was devastated and I thought he would never be back. Joke's on me, he's been living here with his dad's dog for the past three years! Adding further irony, the dog often sleeps on my bed with me.

My goals in 1998 for 2008 were to have a new job - done. Make a lot more money - done, but not enough.

My biggest goals were to graduate both boys from high school with...

• no sexually transmitted diseases - done, I'm pretty sure!
• no incarcerations for more than 30 days, none - not even an arrest!
• no children - none!
• no addictions - none -- and continuous warnings of a predisposition to alcoholism.

That was my job and I'm done, everything else they accomplished was their own. Though neither has graduated from college yet, I'm still hopeful they'll finish. I'm very proud of them both, they are good people and will lead good lives, taking good care of their families.

I've got a lot to do in the next ten years. I have to stay healthy because they don't deserve to lose another parent too early. I have to get my finances in order because I don't want to be poor. I'm nine credits into this master's degree, so it would be good to finish - and keep the 4.0 I've got going so far.

I'd like to move to a warmer climate and hope the boys won't be too far away so that we can always be together at holidays. I hope to go to Paris or Rome or both. I'd like to visit Las Vegas and Honolulu too. I would really like grandchildren, and I'd like to still have my parents around. They are 76 and 78 now, and going strong! I'd like my brother to get his act together - that would certainly increase the life expectancy of mom and dad. One thing I learned during his past rehab was the serenity prayer and I greatly respect and rely on it:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

I'd add strength to that too, because it's hard to make changes. But here we go... and here's to a great 2008!